This recent news article caught my attention regarding possible public boarding schools coming to Buffalo. I have a better proposal which would include some infrastructure projects perfect for getting construction workers back to work from the housing crisis!
Clearly, boarding school is being proposed to maximize learning time for students, but the high recurring price tag as well as the increased liability exposure makes it seem unfeasible to me. But how can they become productive citizens if they are not in a productive environment at all times? What about holding parents accountable too? Wouldn't a boarding school let them off the hook? The answer is to make their current environments superior learning environments. School hours should be extended too from the 6-7 hours it currently is to 10-12 hours not counting school bus time.
Lengthening the school day isn't enough, of course. Instructional time in school should be tightened up also. While lunches have been cut down to a minimum, physical education has succumbed to budget cuts, and recess has been reduced, much more can be done so that every minute of the school day is productive. Obviously, recess has to go completely. Lunch should be made over into stadium seating with a small table for each chair so students can watch a lecture whether live or on-screen. This time should be cut from the now twenty minutes down to eight minutes as such time will obviously be less productive than class time due to not being able to also take notes or write exams while eating. Don't forget that a small hand sanitizer dispenser will be at each place to avoid the time spent washing hands before lunch.
The change in the structure of the auditorium for this new lunch shouldn't be the end of the construction, buses will be outfitted differently too. Transportation time is a waste currently since students can't listen to the teacher or complete exams. Bus seating shall be converted to cubicles. The cubicles should be ergonomically laid out to make work productive including a comfortable harness seat so that students can be strapped in well but with their arms free to take notes on a video lecture and read textbooks. The rest of their bodies shall not be permitted to move so as to avoid injuries in accidents or distractions to other students. This additional learning time on the bus, approximately 17 otherwise wasted minutes, is so critical that parents will not be permitted to opt out to transport their own child (this will give an environmental boost too getting all those pesky SUVs off the road during rush hour). For students who cannot handle reading and writing while in motion, bus aides will provide fast acting nausea medication upon entry onto the bus. Presumably the district will be able to leverage a volume discount from the drug companies.
I wouldn't stop the make over with lunch and transportation, but bathroom time can be made over too. Urinals will need to be removed from schools so that all students will use stalls. In the stalls, there will be desks so they can bring their study books with them and a screen so that they don't miss a word of what their teacher is saying. This will work fine until it comes time to wipe, so I propose toilet/bidet combinations where students will be cleaned with a high intensity disinfecting jet and power dried in the same manner as the intense hand dryers. Since no wiping of dirty crotches/rears will occur, hand washing will not be necessary and students can very quickly return to class.
What about after school? Isn't the home learning environment lacking? Shouldn't the time between school and bed time be productive? The time should be filled with homework and the sorts of activities upon which colleges look favorably. What about the time required for cooking, grooming, or chores? Students will no long be permitted to do these things as they detract from productive homework time. They can learn nothing from cooking except how to be a low wage restaurant worker, so parents shall cook for their students so they do not leave the school books. Students will not need to do much cleaning as they will have no time to make a mess and parents will do the remainder. Grooming will be a hybrid effort only because it would be expensive to waterproof school books and have parents bathe their children while they do homework. The infrastructure project will provide funding so that household bathrooms with school age children will have the school style toilet stalls as well as waterproof audio visual equipment so that even shower time may be productive listening to a prerecorded lecture available online from the teacher. Other than shower time, students will not groom but do homework and parents will comb their hair, brush their teeth, etc. You ask if this will work when the students are teenagers and I say that they are children until age 18 so Mom (and Dad) can still groom them. Despite the fact that students are at school the majority of their waking hours, parents are ultimately responsible for their children's learning and can be accountable for these tasks.
I hope parents and taxpayers agree that this is in the best interest of the district fiscally. A boarding school would expand yearly general fund expenses into the future while an infrastructure project approach would provide new long term assets for the dollars spent which can be financed at the very favorable rates available nowadays to local governmental entities. The amounts spent on debt service can be offset by new fines on parents. Since parents will need to do their part as described above, they will be fined when students perform poorly on tests. Parents will care when it hits them in the pocketbook. When they can't pay, the debt should accrue in the same manner as student loans with no opportunity for discharge in bankruptcy. Good parents can take comfort in knowing that bad parents are burdened by more of the cost. I hope you see that this very meritocratic and long-term investment approach is far better than boarding schools!
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